How God Builds a Real Man

Being a Christian young man is about becoming the best version of you possible. You were born a male, and God wants you to become an extraordinary man!

In building men, God has never deviated from His pattern. He has always built men by starting them out as boys. Even when He sent His own Son, Jesus, He didn’t change His plan. He started Jesus as a Baby born in a barn, raised in a small town with His dad who was a carpenter, and developed like every other boy and young man.

So God always builds men from the same starting point. Guys love it when we start showing signs that we are becoming men—deeper voice, stronger muscles, and facial hair.

Obviously, most of these signs are physical, and will naturally happen with a healthy diet, exercise, and sleep. However, the inside stuff that makes you a godly man is not so automatic. It only develops in you if you put effort into it. You must be careful not to allow the outward growth of your body to overshadow the inward development of your character.

Your parents, your pastors, your mentors, and other godly influences can encourage you to develop the inside stuff, but they can’t do it for you. It is your responsibility. You must choose to mature into an outstanding man of God.

God designed young men everywhere to want three things, summarized in the word ACT— ADVENTUROUS fun, strength of CHARACTER, and a deeply personal TASK, or purpose, to live for. He uses these to build boys and young men so they get their ACT together and become exceptional men if they will let Him.

God Builds Men on Adventure

When God builds men, He starts with ADVENTURE. Do you like to hike, hunt, or fish? Play ball or watch sports? Listen to or play your music? Take photos, edit videos, or produce podcasts? Build or fix things? These are fun things us guys like to do. We dream of adventure—going places, testing our limits, doing things that matter, and having fun! Do you realize God made you to enjoy adventure? He did! The Bible says God rides on the clouds and wind, speaks in the thunder, and plays in the rain (Deuteronomy 33:26; Psalms 68:33; 104:3; 135:7). God has fun, and so can you.

The greatest adventure God gives you is your life, but we should never attempt to do life on our own. God asks you to go on adventures with Him. This requires faith. Faith is trust—trust that God will never let you down, leave you behind, or forget about you. That sounds risky, doesn’t it? But that is the very nature of adventure. It is characterized by a measure of fear of the unseen or the unknown. That is exactly what makes it so fun, and without it, your Christian life will be boring. The cure is adventure!

When you choose to follow Christ, it will always be an adventure. He will ask you to do things that will require you to trust Him. Following Him will far surpass any adrenaline rush you could create for yourself. Only when you experience His adventures will you truly know God. Until you head out with Him, God will be a distant, impersonal, and faceless figure. However, when you choose to trust Him, you will really know Him.

Adventuring with God means loving Him and loving others as much as you love yourself. Jesus called this the Great Commandment. Take note of this! Adventuring with God is not optional. It is a command. It’s the way God builds a man. No adventure? No journey to manhood!

Real men risk it all to follow God. They learn to love Him with everything they have and to love others as much as they love themselves. Young men who play it safe grow physically as men but remain immature boys on the inside. God transforms boys into men on adventures. It’s pure adrenaline, on-your-feet-learning with God. It’s never boring and always exciting; even the routine disciplines can be filled with excitement. Trust God and follow Him. You won’t be disappointed.

What kind of adventures do you expect God to bring your way? You might start a business, play a sport, or become a missionary, pastor, or evangelist. Whatever it is, you can be sure it will be exciting, risky, and challenging, and it will shape you into a godly man.

God Forges Men’s Character in Battle

While on your adventure, God adds CHARACTER as He builds you into a man. Character is our inside strength that comes in the form of brainpower, creative talents and abilities, emotional stability, and moral and spiritual strength to make the right choices. This strength of character is designed to help you serve others, defend the defenseless, and to protect the ones we love.

Growing strong on the inside is not something you can do on our own. You have to rely on the Holy Spirit to shape you from the inside out. The real you is the inside you. When you ask Jesus to come into your heart, to forgive your sins, and to be your Friend and the Leader of your life, His Spirit lives inside you. Then, if you let Him, the Holy Spirit will work on you and shape you to be more and more like Jesus. How awesome is that? You can be made strong and powerful like Jesus!

Have you ever realized it is easier to pull people down than it is to lift them up? It takes real strength and courage to lift people, and only the weight of unkind actions, words, and attitudes to hold them down. Guys who hold others back are weak inside. However, guys who have character and who lift others are truly strong. It takes character to be a real man who cares about and builds up his inner strength.

The Holy Spirit will make you strong on the inside. This is the Great Empowerment—the Holy Spirit gives you power for life and ministry, builds your character, and focuses your God-given abilities. He gives you the inside stuff that makes you truly strong. The Holy Spirit has unlimited strength, and He wants to share it all with you if you will let Him.

God Reveals Men’s Life Task

God plants into men a drive to accomplish a special TASK. This gives you direction and purpose. Adventure and strength focused on a special task makes you a real man.

Some guys love adventure only for the opportunity to have fun. These are the guys who take advantage of others and ultimately wreck their own futures. Think about Samson, the Old Testament judge, who landed himself in a work prison, lost his God-given strength, and had his eyes gouged out. God had given him a love for ADVENTURE and challenge plus great physical and moral CHARACTER for the TASK of delivering his nation from the grip of their oppressors. But he played games with God, preferring to create his own adventure rather than trusting God to lead him on a truly great adventure. He used his strength for selfish gain rather than to accomplish his special task of serving others.

Who are good examples in your life of a godly adventure toward manhood? Look for someone who loves adventure, is morally and spiritually strong, and is focused on serving family, the church, and you! Godly men focus their ADVENTURE and CHARACTER strength on a special TASK, or purpose—being God’s allies to tell the whole world about His love. We call this the Great Commission, the awesome task of showing everyone in the whole world God’s amazing love. God will show you your special role in this task as you obediently go on adventure with Him.

Now that you know how God builds a real man, are you willing to go on adventure with Him? Are you willing to let the Holy Spirit shape your character? Are you willing to assume your special task in life? Get your ACT together, become a man! Let God build your life. If you do, it will be full of ADVENTURE, strong CHARACTER, and a special TASK. That is what is required to become the best version of you, the best man you can be. You were born a male, but that alone won’t make you a real man. Let God shape you into the extraordinary man He wants you to become.

In My Experience:

I’ve encouraged the spiritual development of boys and young men for years. In my experience, some boys think it is harder than it really is. Others think it is easier.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Jesus wants a relationship with you. He will not weigh you down with burdens. He offers real and full life. That’s the adventure! But the truth is that life is hard. God does not remove us from hardship, but He walks through it with us and makes us stronger because of it. A wise person once said, “God will not protect you from what He can perfect you through.” After all, God is first interested in your character (who you really are inside) before revealing your task (what you will do and who you will become). So He blends the three building blocks of manhood—adventure, character, and task—together perfectly just for you according to His perfect plan.

For too many years I thought that the Christian life was all about reading my Bible, praying, going to church, and following certain rules. I drew this conclusion because my mentors were trying to help me develop important spiritual disciplines. But what I failed to understand was that I need a personal relationship with Jesus. I think everyone figured if I just did these things the relationship part would also kick in at some point.

Had I accepted Jesus as my Savior? Yes, of course. But I treated it like a box I’d checked off on a long list of things I needed to do to please God. Slowly, I figured out that what He wants is relationship that grows out of faith in Him. He wants me to trust and follow Him. As I did, I developed a greater hunger for the Word, and I wanted to spend more time with Him. I discovered I could have as personal a relationship with God as the people in the Bible did. It is a close, conversational, and fun relationship with God in the same way I have relationships with family and friends.

So here’s my advice—take the long view and look at the big picture, if you will. God is alive. He’s fun and has lots of personality. If you look for it, you’ll even find Him to be playful. He likes to make you smile and even laugh. He’s that close, real, and personal. Look at every call to obey Him as an invitation to adventure, every hardship as a battle that will make you stronger and draw you closer to Him, and every opportunity to serve others as a way to learn about yourself and what makes you come alive.

So what comes first? The chicken or the egg? Yes! So what comes first? Spiritual disciplines like reading the Bible, prayer, and attending church or adventure, character, and task? Yes! The point is, love Jesus and let Him love you. Spend time with Him. Let Him bring you to life. That’s the opposite of religious obligation and duty. His invitation to follow is to enter an alive and personal relationship with the God of the universe. That’s how God will build you into a real man.